Shark Jesus born in Illinois - National Zero (2024)

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Shark Jesus born in Illinois
  • Post date11/3/23 at 8:19 am EDT by Spartan
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The Brookfield Zoo outside of Chicago this week announced the have been blessed with a holy arrival: the miraculous virgin birth of a baby Epaulette shark in late August, USA Today reports.

The female savior of Shark-kind and her mother, who may or may not be named Mary, are said to be doing well. “We are happy to report that our epaulette pup has been eating well on her diet of finely chopped capelin, minced squid tentacles, and other finely chopped seafood,” said Brookfield specialist Mike Masellis of his offerings to the incarnate of a nightmarish antediluvian shark god.

Shark Jesus born in Illinois - National Zero (2024)

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